The date was March 27, 1995. The time was the wee hours of the morning, when I woke having cramp like pains. Slowly getting out of bed I waddled to the bathroom and took a shower. By the time I was done with that shower I knew that I was in labor. Waking the kids dad, we prepared to head to the hospital for the birth of our son. I remember when they placed that tiny little bundle on my tummy I was so happy. Once he was cleaned up and cradled in my arms I looked him all over and the love for that tiny little man just filled my soul.
Within the first few hours of life, we nearly lost our little baby. He was found blue and not breathing in his tiny bed. His lungs were full of fluid. He was also born crippled. His little legs were all bent up. But God had plans for this little guy. He knew that his heart was tender and thoughtful. That as he grew he would be selfless and giving and thoughtful of others in so many ways.
The devil works so hard on our children to pull them down and for some reason he was over busy with this tiny baby. When he was 3 months old I contracted a severe case of E Coli. Being a nursing mom, I passed it on to him. But no one figured it out till after he was over a year and a half old. He struggled with his little messed up system and would cry from the pain. He didn't eat much. In fact he barely grew. At three months he weighed a little over twelve pounds. And by the time he was one years old he was barely sixteen pounds. He was wearing only size six months. He could hardly sleep. He would sleep no longer then a 15 minute stretch day and night. Poor baby would wake crying. We spent lots of time at the Doctors, but he just said that our tiny baby had colic. When we moved to Wenatchee, they figured it out. Once his new Doctor got him taken care of and better he begin to grow by leaps and bounds. But then shortly after that he started getting really sick. He would barely be breathing. We had many trips to the ER. The last time they discovered that one lung was not operating and the other only at ten percent. Rushing him to ICU and into oxygen tent, they worked with him. Lots of prayers again were ascending to our Heavenly Father. He was diagnosed with double pneumonia and with severe asthma. Then begin the long road of breathing treatments and medicine.
When my babies were less then a week old I started taking them to Sabbath School and church. I know that at first they slept through it a lot. But I can tell you that by the time Kohn could crawl, he knew just what to do with his felts. He would crawl right to the front to put it on the board at six months of age. I studied their little Sabbath School lessons and sang with him. Teaching him about Jesus and His love for little children from birth up.
He was so tender that even when his big sissy was in trouble and punished he would cry. When he was big enough and people would give him a sucker or some other treat that kids would like, he would rather go without unless he could have two. One for his sister and one for him. When he was just about 3 maybe not quite there yet. He would sing all the time. Jesus Loves Me, Power In The Blood, and so many more. I remember on several occasions while shopping for groceries I would be in the store and from the children's seat in the cart he would be singing. Then to complete strangers he would flash the biggest smile and say "Jesus Loves you!!"
Another time I remember when we ran out of gas and were walking with the gas can into Carson City to fill the can, a stranger picked us up. The man didn't have the best of language and I do not think that he even realized he was cursing. About every other word out of his mouth was a curse. But my sweet 4 year old looked at him and told him that when he used words like that it made Jesus sad. The man left us in Carson City. We then were facing the walk back, 3 miles with a full can of gas in the rain. We had not been walking long when he was back. He gave us a ride in silence but just before we got out, he turned and said. "Thank you young man. I know better and don't grow up to use curse words or make Jesus sad with the choices you make in life. "
My 4 year old son, early in the morning, seeing daddy on the couch reading his Bible. Daddy had his shirt off, leg crossed with the Bible open on his lap. When I looked out from the kitchen, there was father and son. Kohn Jr had taken his pajama top off climbed on the couch with his tiny Bible, leg crossed Bible open, looking from dad to the Bible to make sure he was being just like daddy. We never know the impact we have on others. Do we look to Jesus with such love, such longing to be just like Him? In deed, in word, in action??
My 5 year old son, I was packing in the basement, He was playing on the floor with his cars and trucks. I was watching a sermon by Kenneth Cox about the Cross. My dad had just sent it to me. Suddenly my little boy said, " Mama, Does that mean that when I am selfish and I don't share me cars with sissy that I am putting Jesus on the cross and He dies again?? "
The gospel is so simple. Yes when we do anything that is selfish or wrong it is sin and we crucify our Savior again. Oh that we all would remember this.
My 8 year old son. Camp meeting in the Primary Division. All the children were rushing to be the first in line. Another little boy that he didn't even know was pushed to the ground in the crowd and skinned his hands and face. All the others just kept rushing past. But Kohn stopped and helped him up and to a teacher waiting with him to be cleaned up and then sat with him. Not caring whether he was first anymore. It was nearly a year later that a lady at camp Au Sable approached me and asked "is that your son?" pointing at Kohn. I said that yes it was. Her little boy was there and had told his mom all about his kindness at camp meeting the year before. And he told his mama, that boy was his best friend. because he had been so kind when no one else had cared.
My son through the years struggled fitting in. Partially brought on through trying to hard to fit in socially and partially from his hyperactivity and partially from the bullies in the class. It is hard to fit in and per-pressure is a tough thing for our young people no matter what. There were things that he had been through that had impacted him, and I will not write about them. He was a damaged young man. The devil was and is working so hard to bring our young people down. He hates to see little children being like Jesus in anyway.
My son has a gift of music. He did well with Euphonium that he learned to play. I loved going to his concerts that he was a part of. Or the recitals that he played in. Or special music at church. Special memories for sure.
When my son was in the 7th grade we nearly lost him. I got the call from the school that he wasn't breathing and that they had called 911. I had no clue how serious it was until I ran into that room where he was. His body was laying there on the floor. Every time he tried to gasp for air it was only a motion. No air passed into his lungs. Those attempts were less and less. He was already cold to the touch. His skin was gray and his nails were blue. He had already had a seizure due the lack of oxygen to the brain. There for a tiny bit of blood on his face from a bitten lip. The EMT's now came rushing in. I remember them yelling " hurry we are losing him. Get that tube in. We are losing him, we are losing him. The ride behind the ambulance was long. I didn't know if he was going to be dead or alive when we got there. So many thoughts racing in my mind. So many prayers to God. Save my son Lord, please save my baby. By the time they let me in the back and I was rushing to the trauma room, I could her a faint "mama, mama" There is no sweeter sound then that of your child. No sweeter sound.
You know it matters so little the mistakes our children make. The love of a mothers heart never changes. They are your babies. I can still see that little boy in his bed, sleeping so soundly every morning that I would go to wake him for school. Kneeling by his bed I would lift him up to the Father. The one who loves with such tender love. The lover of children.
Son, I love you with all my heart. I still pray everyday for you. Not a day goes by when I do not claim the promises in the Bible.
But thus saith the LORD, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children.
Isaiah 49:25
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord, and great shall be the peace of thy children.
Isaiah 54:13
These are just a few of the verses that I claim for you. Just remember there is nothing that can separate you from Jesus. He is always right there and waiting for you. I am so proud to call you my son. So thankful that God entrusted you to me to bring up and nurture through life's struggles. I know that there were times I made mistakes, lots of them in fact. I am human and many times I messed up. But I know that God isn't done with me yet either. Lets together draw closer to Him each day. Heaven is soon. What promises and joy soon to be fulfilled. My sweet son, Kohn Arik Sutton. For you I am thankful.